Is it really any different?

Situation:  Most couples that become pregnant will not learn the gender of their child because they don't want to "ruin the surprise" yet, when doctors ask if the couple would like to be made known of any health defects their child may have then the answer is usually 'yes'.

Question:  What is it about perceived positives and negatives that predicts our reaction to them so accurately?

Most people that I have had this sort of conversation with tend to lean towards the reasoning that gender is less consequential than their baby having Down's syndrome or spina bifida and that knowing about the 'negative' of defects is to help them prepare themselves for what is to come. 

Really? 

Let me clarify that I understand certain conditions identified while the baby is in utero are important because they can now be corrected earlier with a better prognosis of overall health for the child.  What I don't understand is the thought process where parents of an unborn child will consider ending the pregnancy due to the issue identified being "too much to handle".  At the same time, these kind of people would never consider terminating the pregnancy if they found out that their child was not the gender they were hoping for.  No, they say, that would be wrong.  Now that you mention it, in some countries it is not wrong.  In some countries it is widely accepted and encouraged to simply "delete" the unwanted pregnancies based on the gender or physical makeup of the child-to-be and try again, hoping for a "better" result. 

Is it really any different, gender and physical ability or disability?  You can draw a line in the sand and say one is different than the other but can you control either?  Is it anyone's "fault" that children have genetic and physical defects?  Is it to anyone's "credit" that the child has favourable attributes? 

It's a reflex type of opinion that people have and it is subjective and wrong simply because the decision was made before the discussion happened.  The words (many, I know) that are in quotations are the ones I hear most used and have the least amount of logical reasoning behind them. 

Have a discussion with yourself, learn something new.