See, this is what happens when I focus on actual school work and not on important things like making light of otherwise serious or humourless moments through semi-anonymous diatribes. These last two semesters over at the good 'ol Faculty of Nursing have made for some excellent giggle-stifling note-taking on my part and not all of these make their way to becoming full-blown blog posts. Why don't we start a little "Best of the Rest" tradition and I'll scrape the bottom of the proverbial bedpan for some laughs?
Here we go, some random thoughts and QOTS runners-up:
1. "No, I wouldn't mind having a male nurse. Not even if they did my PV (internal exam done by hand)". Five minutes later, same individual speaking, "Yeah I need to move out of my parent's basement."
2. Aren't all nurses aspiring diabetics?
3. Male nursing students never have to worry about line-ups in FON washrooms.
4. Proper grammar and spelling only matter when you're a student. After you graduate and become an RN or FON professor you can use and spell words however the hell you want.
5. "What's an ATV? Is it a disease?"
Short list to start, but hey, that's all I have and it's 100%, so take it or leave it!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Really?
Can we please take "Knowing CPR" off of the "Things That Make You a Superhero" list?
Please?
Being that there is a ridiculously long list of professions that require you to obtain and keep up-to-date your CPR certification, is there any reason I should be hearing things like, "Well, we had to do CPR on them and I just knew what to do and they lived." coming from the mouths of nursing students? Honestly, where does the bravado come from? Are you so sure that your three to four minutes of steady thrusting had so much to do with the happy ending that you're immediately going to gloat about how calm and collected you remained while you remembered a ratio and the basic tempo to a Bee Gees song?
On the other hand, if the aforementioned student nurse's actual performance of CPR were any indication, I would have to say that CPR should stay right up there on that list.
At least until the last properly land-marked trembling nurse hand pushed with sufficient strength to compress the myocardium and shove those blood cells just a little bit further down the vasculature.
Please?
Being that there is a ridiculously long list of professions that require you to obtain and keep up-to-date your CPR certification, is there any reason I should be hearing things like, "Well, we had to do CPR on them and I just knew what to do and they lived." coming from the mouths of nursing students? Honestly, where does the bravado come from? Are you so sure that your three to four minutes of steady thrusting had so much to do with the happy ending that you're immediately going to gloat about how calm and collected you remained while you remembered a ratio and the basic tempo to a Bee Gees song?
On the other hand, if the aforementioned student nurse's actual performance of CPR were any indication, I would have to say that CPR should stay right up there on that list.
At least until the last properly land-marked trembling nurse hand pushed with sufficient strength to compress the myocardium and shove those blood cells just a little bit further down the vasculature.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Good break...
Well, it's been a while.
I will admit that I have actively avoided blogging for a while because resuming this blog just brings home the message that Christmas is over and school is here to complicate life once again. I'll make up for it with a new QOTS in addition to a post. I'm sure you're all just riveted at this point...
Thought for the exam period: iPod headphones do not have a volume setting that adequately combats pre-nursing exam henhouse noise. If chronic insecurity was a particular scent, it would be CK Euphoria with a dollop of flop sweat. Gag me. Why do people have to be so insecure? It is a choice, it's simply not even in the realm of good social graces to feel obligated to talk to other people you've seen a few times and spoken to fewer times. I believe that I have already touched on that here. If you're so insecure as to your knowledge base in a specific class that you feel you must poll each person who makes the mistake of making eye contact with you, then you've definitely got something to be worried about and it isn't just the test you're about to fail...
Now for that QOTS I promised you:
Prof - "When you percuss the lungs, you would expect to hear what?"
Overly Ambitious Yet Generally Rubbish Student - "Renaissance."
We're off to the races again!
I will admit that I have actively avoided blogging for a while because resuming this blog just brings home the message that Christmas is over and school is here to complicate life once again. I'll make up for it with a new QOTS in addition to a post. I'm sure you're all just riveted at this point...
Thought for the exam period: iPod headphones do not have a volume setting that adequately combats pre-nursing exam henhouse noise. If chronic insecurity was a particular scent, it would be CK Euphoria with a dollop of flop sweat. Gag me. Why do people have to be so insecure? It is a choice, it's simply not even in the realm of good social graces to feel obligated to talk to other people you've seen a few times and spoken to fewer times. I believe that I have already touched on that here. If you're so insecure as to your knowledge base in a specific class that you feel you must poll each person who makes the mistake of making eye contact with you, then you've definitely got something to be worried about and it isn't just the test you're about to fail...
Now for that QOTS I promised you:
Prof - "When you percuss the lungs, you would expect to hear what?"
Overly Ambitious Yet Generally Rubbish Student - "Renaissance."
We're off to the races again!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
I'z a Nursw
I just completed my last final exam this past Saturday and out of my first semester of 'real' exposure to the Faculty of Nursing, I have to say that I'm a bit appalled. No, it's not a student nurse, who speaks without thinking.
It's the faculty itself.
It's their spelling and grammar.
After writing three exams filled with typos, spelling errors, and grammar goofs, I simply cannot believe that degree and doctoral-trained professionals could allow such filth to be distributed en masse to the student body as a form of testing. I neither expect my average fellow student to care as much as I do about this issue nor do I expect them to even notice the errors in the first place. What I do expect is that the professors would have the decency to press the 'spell check' button at the conclusion of compiling their final exam.
This problem is not isolated to final exams. I have witnessed the same carelessness throughout the semester. I have been given "scheduals", informed that "your responsible to complete assignments in a timely manner", and have been constantly reminded to assess the patient's "ventillations".
To be clear, I do not expect perfection, a simple review would catch most of the mistakes I have seen and proof-reading from an appropriately-trained staff member would virtually eliminate the rest. What I expect is an effort, and it is apparent that effort is not given to this area.
It is for these reasons that I added a small postscript note to the end of one of my finals that read: "You're spelling and grammar sucks bahls."
EDIT: Just located the culmination of nursing's literary shortcomings here.
It's the faculty itself.
It's their spelling and grammar.
After writing three exams filled with typos, spelling errors, and grammar goofs, I simply cannot believe that degree and doctoral-trained professionals could allow such filth to be distributed en masse to the student body as a form of testing. I neither expect my average fellow student to care as much as I do about this issue nor do I expect them to even notice the errors in the first place. What I do expect is that the professors would have the decency to press the 'spell check' button at the conclusion of compiling their final exam.
This problem is not isolated to final exams. I have witnessed the same carelessness throughout the semester. I have been given "scheduals", informed that "your responsible to complete assignments in a timely manner", and have been constantly reminded to assess the patient's "ventillations".
To be clear, I do not expect perfection, a simple review would catch most of the mistakes I have seen and proof-reading from an appropriately-trained staff member would virtually eliminate the rest. What I expect is an effort, and it is apparent that effort is not given to this area.
It is for these reasons that I added a small postscript note to the end of one of my finals that read: "You're spelling and grammar sucks bahls."
EDIT: Just located the culmination of nursing's literary shortcomings here.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Early Christmas Gift
A special token of my appreciation for all your quick glances at my blog this semester:
Monday, November 22, 2010
It's QOTS Time Again!
The hits just keep on coming! Whatever will these people say next? That they're going to grow up? Start thinking before they speak? Consider others' opinions before assuming their own are correct?
Nope!
"You have the model body like a runway model. I mean, you're not that thin but, you know, you kind of look like that."
Nope!
"You have the model body like a runway model. I mean, you're not that thin but, you know, you kind of look like that."
Friday, November 5, 2010
Insinuation
If ever you've felt that I thought nursing students, on average, were of the stupid inclination, I apologize...for now.
While sitting in class and listening to no fewer than eight students do their best to tear the professor apart due to the fact that they said that she (prof) said that there was only multiple choice on the midterm, wait, no, that she (prof) said that there would be short answer but they would be only one-word answers (wtf?), no, that wasn't it, it was that she (prof) didn't communicate clearly the expectations of the exam because I would have studied WAY differently (read: actually studied) if I had known that I was supposed actually comprehend and memorize things instead of being able to choose the best answer from a list containing one goofy answer, one wrong answer and two answers that are plausible but one results in success and the other in tears and cries of "BUT IT'S THE SAME THING!" (deep breath to recover from run-on sentence and continue the train wreck).................I realized that nursing students aren't exactly stupid, they're scared.
What are they scared of? Quite simply, they fear the same thing every single person on earth fears: losing control. Now, just because we all fear losing control doesn't mean we all have valid fears. In fact, it's just the opposite. Our fears are usually ridiculous, things that we have talked ourselves through time after time but still can't bring ourselves to overcome them. Our fears are irrational, yet every time we reason our way through them, we end of right back where we've begun: clinging to the ice cream bucket, sobbing our eyes out while we watch episode after episode of Holmes on Homes.
Or something like that.
BUT, nursing students are different.
Nursing students, usually being the overachieving, recently graduated from high-school types, fear losing control of their educational outcomes after realizing they were spoon-fed throughout high-school. They fear the presence of expectations that, when not met, result in actual consequences. For instance, being expected to study for and write an exam that isn't multiple choice or being expected to hold your rage inside after a clinical coordinator tells you ever-so-kindly that you are not the perfect angel your parents always said you were.
At this stressful juncture, students have a choice to travel down one of two paths. They can choose the direction that sees them remain calm despite emotions, cool despite the pressure, and collected despite the urge to lash out at everything (and everyone) that seemingly stands in opposition. This path leads to the realization that life just isn't all about you despite what car makers and your well-intentioned parents would have you believe. The other path is much easier because every problem is the fault of someone else and every success is yours to flaunt. The ease ends, however, with a frightening crash upon the rocks of reality or, as I like to call them, the Cliffs of Disparage.
So, while sitting and listening to my fellow nursing students further embarrass themselves, I realized that I was surrounded by something more lethal than idiots: fearful nursing students.
Stay in school.
While sitting in class and listening to no fewer than eight students do their best to tear the professor apart due to the fact that they said that she (prof) said that there was only multiple choice on the midterm, wait, no, that she (prof) said that there would be short answer but they would be only one-word answers (wtf?), no, that wasn't it, it was that she (prof) didn't communicate clearly the expectations of the exam because I would have studied WAY differently (read: actually studied) if I had known that I was supposed actually comprehend and memorize things instead of being able to choose the best answer from a list containing one goofy answer, one wrong answer and two answers that are plausible but one results in success and the other in tears and cries of "BUT IT'S THE SAME THING!" (deep breath to recover from run-on sentence and continue the train wreck).................I realized that nursing students aren't exactly stupid, they're scared.
What are they scared of? Quite simply, they fear the same thing every single person on earth fears: losing control. Now, just because we all fear losing control doesn't mean we all have valid fears. In fact, it's just the opposite. Our fears are usually ridiculous, things that we have talked ourselves through time after time but still can't bring ourselves to overcome them. Our fears are irrational, yet every time we reason our way through them, we end of right back where we've begun: clinging to the ice cream bucket, sobbing our eyes out while we watch episode after episode of Holmes on Homes.
Or something like that.
BUT, nursing students are different.
Nursing students, usually being the overachieving, recently graduated from high-school types, fear losing control of their educational outcomes after realizing they were spoon-fed throughout high-school. They fear the presence of expectations that, when not met, result in actual consequences. For instance, being expected to study for and write an exam that isn't multiple choice or being expected to hold your rage inside after a clinical coordinator tells you ever-so-kindly that you are not the perfect angel your parents always said you were.
At this stressful juncture, students have a choice to travel down one of two paths. They can choose the direction that sees them remain calm despite emotions, cool despite the pressure, and collected despite the urge to lash out at everything (and everyone) that seemingly stands in opposition. This path leads to the realization that life just isn't all about you despite what car makers and your well-intentioned parents would have you believe. The other path is much easier because every problem is the fault of someone else and every success is yours to flaunt. The ease ends, however, with a frightening crash upon the rocks of reality or, as I like to call them, the Cliffs of Disparage.
So, while sitting and listening to my fellow nursing students further embarrass themselves, I realized that I was surrounded by something more lethal than idiots: fearful nursing students.
Stay in school.
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