And That Was Almost Two...

I'm on a freaking roll here, next time you probably won't hear from me for four months!

Seriously though, I have to adapt to technology and hopefully the result benefits you as the reader.  Which is why I have decided to incorporate Twitter into my methods of sharing my thoughts with all of you.  You see, during the day at the university or while on clinical rotations, I sometimes have that one great thought and I think to myself, "Wow, I should write this down so I don't forget to blog about it later."  Then I promptly forget and end up racking my brain hours later whilst in front of my computer trying to remember the thought that was so great.  Other times, I think of things or hear things that make me giggle (that's right, sometimes it's outright chortling) throughout my day and it would be much easier to smack out a short note rather than attempt to stretch it into a full out blog post.

Enough about that, you can follow me, @nurseofdoom, on Twitter!

http://twitter.com/nurseofdoom

Wow...That Was A Month

See, this is what happens when I focus on actual school work and not on important things like making light of otherwise serious or humourless moments through semi-anonymous diatribes.  These last two semesters over at the good 'ol Faculty of Nursing have made for some excellent giggle-stifling note-taking on my part and not all of these make their way to becoming full-blown blog posts.  Why don't we start a little "Best of the Rest" tradition and I'll scrape the bottom of the proverbial bedpan for some laughs?

Here we go, some random thoughts and QOTS runners-up:

1. "No, I wouldn't mind having a male nurse. Not even if they did my PV (internal exam done by hand)". Five minutes later, same individual speaking, "Yeah I need to move out of my parent's basement."

2. Aren't all nurses aspiring diabetics?

3. Male nursing students never have to worry about line-ups in FON washrooms.

4. Proper grammar and spelling only matter when you're a student.  After you graduate and become an RN or FON professor you can use and spell words however the hell you want.

5. "What's an ATV?  Is it a disease?"

Short list to start, but hey, that's all I have and it's 100%, so take it or leave it!

Really?

Can we please take "Knowing CPR" off of the "Things That Make You a Superhero" list?

Please?

Being that there is a ridiculously long list of professions that require you to obtain and keep up-to-date your CPR certification, is there any reason I should be hearing things like, "Well, we had to do CPR on them and I just knew what to do and they lived." coming from the mouths of nursing students?  Honestly, where does the bravado come from?  Are you so sure that your three to four minutes of steady thrusting had so much to do with the happy ending that you're immediately going to gloat about how calm and collected you remained while you remembered a ratio and the basic tempo to a Bee Gees song?

On the other hand, if the aforementioned student nurse's actual performance of CPR were any indication, I would have to say that CPR should stay right up there on that list. 

At least until the last properly land-marked trembling nurse hand pushed with sufficient strength to compress the myocardium and shove those blood cells just a little bit further down the vasculature.

Good break...

Well, it's been a while.

I will admit that I have actively avoided blogging for a while because resuming this blog just brings home the message that Christmas is over and school is here to complicate life once again. I'll make up for it with a new QOTS in addition to a post. I'm sure you're all just riveted at this point...

Thought for the exam period:  iPod headphones do not have a volume setting that adequately combats pre-nursing exam henhouse noise.  If chronic insecurity was a particular scent, it would be CK Euphoria with a dollop of flop sweat.  Gag me.  Why do people have to be so insecure?  It is a choice, it's simply not even in the realm of good social graces to feel obligated to talk to other people you've seen a few times and spoken to fewer times.  I believe that I have already touched on that here.  If you're so insecure as to your knowledge base in a specific class that you feel you must poll each person who makes the mistake of making eye contact with you, then you've definitely got something to be worried about and it isn't just the test you're about to fail...

Now for that QOTS I promised you:

Prof - "When you percuss the lungs, you would expect to hear what?"

Overly Ambitious Yet Generally Rubbish Student - "Renaissance."

We're off to the races again!

I'z a Nursw

I just completed my last final exam this past Saturday and out of my first semester of 'real' exposure to the Faculty of Nursing, I have to say that I'm a bit appalled.  No, it's not a student nurse, who speaks without thinking.

It's the faculty itself.

It's their spelling and grammar.

After writing three exams filled with typos, spelling errors, and grammar goofs, I simply cannot believe that degree and doctoral-trained professionals could allow such filth to be distributed en masse to the student body as a form of testing.  I neither expect my average fellow student to care as much as I do about this issue nor do I expect them to even notice the errors in the first place.  What I do expect is that the professors would have the decency to press the 'spell check' button at the conclusion of compiling their final exam.

This problem is not isolated to final exams.  I have witnessed the same carelessness throughout the semester.  I have been given "scheduals", informed that "your responsible to complete assignments in a timely manner", and have been constantly reminded to assess the patient's "ventillations".

To be clear, I do not expect perfection, a simple review would catch most of the mistakes I have seen and proof-reading from an appropriately-trained staff member would virtually eliminate the rest.  What I expect is an effort, and it is apparent that effort is not given to this area.

It is for these reasons that I added a small postscript note to the end of one of my finals that read: "You're spelling and grammar sucks bahls."

EDIT:  Just located the culmination of nursing's literary shortcomings here.

Early Christmas Gift

A special token of my appreciation for all your quick glances at my blog this semester:

It's QOTS Time Again!

The hits just keep on coming!  Whatever will these people say next?  That they're going to grow up?  Start thinking before they speak?  Consider others' opinions before assuming their own are correct?

Nope!

"You have the model body like a runway model.  I mean, you're not that thin but, you know, you kind of look like that."