I Suck

So I've attained a new record in the course of my nursing degree and I'm not proud of it. A 'C'... Hardly cause to push the panic button but cause enough for me to question each of my academic (and non-academic) behaviours.

I find that I often lose interest in the average lecture and begin amusing myself or daydreaming usually within the first 20-30 minutes. I find this to be an improvement over my previous record of not going to class at all. There is still adequate course time left to atone for this mistake but hopefully I can do away with the blood sacrifice to Florence...

Third Time's A Charm

Well, the nursing faculty obviously hasn't learned and have elected to allow me back for a third year.  I must say that I feel much different going into this year than I have in the previous two.  I feel much less contempt for my surroundings and have actually begun to appreciate a few individuals in my cohort.  So far, I've attributed this change to the fact that I've started drinking coffee in the morning but but we'll pretend it's progress or maturity or something of that sort.

In all seriousness, I don't honestly believe I will ever forgive myself for deciding to become a nurse.  The world of paramedicine will always be infinitely more intriguing to me and I don't believe I will ever match the satisfaction I experienced as a result of having worked in that vocation.  I will undoubtedly carry a measure of self-loathing with me as I submit to the perplexing and often convoluted nursing training and, ultimately, become 'one of them'.

I suppose this blog, being the outlet for all my negativity, serves as a sort of timeline of my progression through the transition from confident EMS professional to furtive, backstabbing RN.

Wow, three years of this and I still don't make any sense...

Retarded

What do you think when you read that word? When you hear that word?  Do you immediately think of someone in particular or a group of people in particular?  Do you immediately scrutinize the person who said it and in what context they used the word?  Or, do you skip straight to judgment as this word is a strict no-fly zone and any usage, regardless of context or intent, is cause for immediate hostile rebuttal?

I'm finding more and more that people in the general public belong to the latter grouping and their reasoning is simple, clear, and beyond reproach: "They can't help it."

These are the exact words quoted to me today by an individual who has precious little in the way of life experience and perspective but has a wealth of personal opinion based on nothing more than his own life (what more do you need, really?)

I had made the 'verbal faux' pas while referring to the fact that this imbecile individual had spoken to me in a manner that is altogether unbecoming and undeserving of any human.  This person was quick to correct me and mention that I, "Shouldn't use that word because those people can't help it.

This has got me wondering, do I use this word flippantly?  I am well aware of the derogatory connotations associated with the word and am fairly certain I meant none of them in my usage (at this time or any other time).  When I used the word 'retarded' today, I was specifically referring to the fact that this person was treating me in a manner that suggested they thought that I was unable to comprehend their normal speech and that i had taken offense to their subsequent condescension.

I loathe avoiding controversy simply because everyone else does and I really don't believe I am using this word in a derogatory manner.  Perhaps I am in need of enlightenment. Perhaps I need to use another word; but, in any case, there exists the fact that people exist who are of lower intelligence and mental capacity than others just the same as there exist people who are of different ethnicities.  These characteristics are apparent and they are not inherently wrong.

I am thinking in circles now.  I can only say that I don't believe it is wrong to point out a distinction but it does become 'wrong' when you intend that distinction to suggest their inferiority/your superiority.

Any thoughts, moron?

And That Was Almost Two...

I'm on a freaking roll here, next time you probably won't hear from me for four months!

Seriously though, I have to adapt to technology and hopefully the result benefits you as the reader.  Which is why I have decided to incorporate Twitter into my methods of sharing my thoughts with all of you.  You see, during the day at the university or while on clinical rotations, I sometimes have that one great thought and I think to myself, "Wow, I should write this down so I don't forget to blog about it later."  Then I promptly forget and end up racking my brain hours later whilst in front of my computer trying to remember the thought that was so great.  Other times, I think of things or hear things that make me giggle (that's right, sometimes it's outright chortling) throughout my day and it would be much easier to smack out a short note rather than attempt to stretch it into a full out blog post.

Enough about that, you can follow me, @nurseofdoom, on Twitter!

http://twitter.com/nurseofdoom

Wow...That Was A Month

See, this is what happens when I focus on actual school work and not on important things like making light of otherwise serious or humourless moments through semi-anonymous diatribes.  These last two semesters over at the good 'ol Faculty of Nursing have made for some excellent giggle-stifling note-taking on my part and not all of these make their way to becoming full-blown blog posts.  Why don't we start a little "Best of the Rest" tradition and I'll scrape the bottom of the proverbial bedpan for some laughs?

Here we go, some random thoughts and QOTS runners-up:

1. "No, I wouldn't mind having a male nurse. Not even if they did my PV (internal exam done by hand)". Five minutes later, same individual speaking, "Yeah I need to move out of my parent's basement."

2. Aren't all nurses aspiring diabetics?

3. Male nursing students never have to worry about line-ups in FON washrooms.

4. Proper grammar and spelling only matter when you're a student.  After you graduate and become an RN or FON professor you can use and spell words however the hell you want.

5. "What's an ATV?  Is it a disease?"

Short list to start, but hey, that's all I have and it's 100%, so take it or leave it!

Really?

Can we please take "Knowing CPR" off of the "Things That Make You a Superhero" list?

Please?

Being that there is a ridiculously long list of professions that require you to obtain and keep up-to-date your CPR certification, is there any reason I should be hearing things like, "Well, we had to do CPR on them and I just knew what to do and they lived." coming from the mouths of nursing students?  Honestly, where does the bravado come from?  Are you so sure that your three to four minutes of steady thrusting had so much to do with the happy ending that you're immediately going to gloat about how calm and collected you remained while you remembered a ratio and the basic tempo to a Bee Gees song?

On the other hand, if the aforementioned student nurse's actual performance of CPR were any indication, I would have to say that CPR should stay right up there on that list. 

At least until the last properly land-marked trembling nurse hand pushed with sufficient strength to compress the myocardium and shove those blood cells just a little bit further down the vasculature.

Good break...

Well, it's been a while.

I will admit that I have actively avoided blogging for a while because resuming this blog just brings home the message that Christmas is over and school is here to complicate life once again. I'll make up for it with a new QOTS in addition to a post. I'm sure you're all just riveted at this point...

Thought for the exam period:  iPod headphones do not have a volume setting that adequately combats pre-nursing exam henhouse noise.  If chronic insecurity was a particular scent, it would be CK Euphoria with a dollop of flop sweat.  Gag me.  Why do people have to be so insecure?  It is a choice, it's simply not even in the realm of good social graces to feel obligated to talk to other people you've seen a few times and spoken to fewer times.  I believe that I have already touched on that here.  If you're so insecure as to your knowledge base in a specific class that you feel you must poll each person who makes the mistake of making eye contact with you, then you've definitely got something to be worried about and it isn't just the test you're about to fail...

Now for that QOTS I promised you:

Prof - "When you percuss the lungs, you would expect to hear what?"

Overly Ambitious Yet Generally Rubbish Student - "Renaissance."

We're off to the races again!